roachpatrol:

cunningmarksman:

AU where Gryffindor are the stuck up, blood purist house. They’re the white knights of Hogwarts and Wizarding Britain-but knights ride roughshod over the peasantry.

from ‘The Four Loves’ by C.S. Lewis: “The danger is that this partial indifference or deafness to outside opinion, justified and necessary though it is, may lead to a wholesale indifference or deafness. The most spectacular instances of this can be seen not in a circle of friends but in a Theocratic or aristocratic class. We know what the Priests in Our Lord’s time thought of the common people. The Knights in Froissart’s chronicles had neither sympathy nor mercy for the “outsiders”, the churls or peasants. But this deplorable indifference was very closely intertwined with a good quality. They really had, among themselves, a very high standard of valour, generosity, courtesy and honour. This standard the cautious, close-fisted churl would have thought merely silly. The Knights, in maintaining it, were, and had to be, wholly indifferent to his views. They “didn’t give a damn” what he thought. If they had, our own standard today would be the poorer and the coarser for it. But the habit of “not giving a damn” grows on a class. To discount the voice of the peasant where it really ought to be discounted makes it easier to discounthis voice when he cries for justice or mercy. The partial deafness which is noble and necessary encourages the wholesale deafness which is arrogant and inhuman.”

Gryffindor’s all about chivalry, but that word comes from cheval, horse. Chivalry is the behaviour of a mounted knight. An aristocrat. Someone born and raised to think himself Better Than You.

and the Slytherins? ‘These cunning folk use any means to achieve their ends’, and Slytherin house is all about ambition. In other words…merit over bloodline. Why appoint a pureblood to a post over a more qualified muggleborn, just on the basis of that blood? Why try to purge Wizarding culture of Muggle influences, when Muggles have produced so many interesting and useful things and ideas that a clever wizard could turn to his own advantage? Why bully and make an enemy of supersmart Hermione Granger, when it would be far more in your self-interest to make friends with her and have her help you out with your schoolwork?

and why would Slytherins follow a Dark Lord? Because let’s face it; Dark Lords are nuts and getting close to them in any way is hazardous to your health. If the forces of Light don’t strike you down, the Dark Lord himself might well, in a fit of pique. And anyway-while the Dark Lord is in power, there’s no room at the top because he’s occupying it. How is that a good thing if you’re ambitious?

but Gryffindors, well, knights must serve a king…unquestioning obedience to one’s king is a virtue among knights. And a king proposing a return to the virtuous olden days, to chivalry and honour and the lower orders knowing their place if they knew what was good for them…

holy shit this makes so much more sense than what actually went down

ETA: holy shit i bet this is what’s happening with the millennial generation of hogwarts kids since the voldemort wars so thoroughly ruined slytherin for purebloods… and set gryffindor up as the shining valorous house of moral authority.

(Source: iraffiruse)

sexygeriatrics:


we did it

(Source: vaginoir)

(Source: icyanyeta)

livebloggingmydescentintomadness:

tumblr

image

tumblr in october

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HERA: who is this
ZEUS: who is what
HERA: who is this naked youth
ZEUS: youre going to have to be more specific
HERA: the one at your feet
ZEUS: oh
him
what about him
HERA: where did he come from
ZEUS: where did any of us come from
you know?
could be from the sea
or my own head
or spit up by an angry snake
hard to tell
HERA: did you kidnap him for sex
ZEUS: what
no
what?
HERA: did he kidnap you for sex
ZEUS: no
he’s
my cup guy
this is Ganymede, Official Cup Holder
he holds the cups
HERA: really
ZEUS: youve been saying forever that we need a guy to hold all the cups we use
HERA: i’ve never said that
ZEUS: someones been saying it
i just thought id save us all a little trouble
HERA: why isn’t he holding any cups
ZEUS: what
HERA: if he’s the cup holder why doesn’t he have a cup to offer me
i’m thirsty
ZEUS: I’m
EARTHQUAKE
[ZEUS raises his hands and all of Mount Olympus begins to shake violently. HERA is trapped underneath a falling rock]
ZEUS: sorry babe
cant hear you over all this earthquake

arminsarmy:

marielovesgroban:

Don’t forget we have to wake up Green Day tomorrow.

Ok just a reminder to everyone: If you’re planning on tweeting billie joe armstrong “wake up” or something tomorrow, DON’T. The song is about his father’s death and so it’s really personal and treating it like a joke isn’t the right thing to do. Plus he’s asked so many times for people to stop and no one listens so yeah. Please don’t do that.

#STEVEN MOFFAT

(Source: daenystormborn)

unclefather:

finding nemo

(Source: weloveshortvideos.com)

jewist:

the worst is having a dream where someone loves you and you can practically feel them touching you and it feels so real and then you wake up and it’s like the life is being sucked out of you and the happiness just drains out of your body and you feel empty again

(Source: slippinbeauty)

(Source: ojnah)

Being single is fucking boring. Just saying.

concretefemme:

i realise a lot of people on tumlr don’t follow sports/particularly the nfl and that means a lot of people on tumlr have no reason to know that the San Diego Chargers’ mascot is this horrible being named Boltman that i am increasingly sure is @dril’s physical form